DOWNTOWN DANE: SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER?
It’s that time of year. I’m just not entirely certain what it is and what all the hustle and bustle means. I have watched humans have many different reactions to and experiences with this last month and a half of the calendar year: On one end of the spectrum are those who fire up the Christmas music before Thanksgiving and crank it all the way to January, have a wardrobe of clothing embroidered with things like turkeys, candy canes and snow scenes and run around in headbands with reindeer antlers. Quite to the contrary, others seem to really dislike or feel really sad during this time for all sorts of reasons. The majority of humans seem to fall somewhere in the middle, managing a battle between daily life, all the extra errands, spending, preparation and obligations AND trying to enjoy the season. Humans mark dates while dogs mark territory…so I have a lot of questions about this surreal stretch of time called “The Holidays.”
The whole crazy carnival seems to begin with this thing called Thanksgiving. It’s fun for me because the humans don’t leave for work on the last two days of that week, visiting relatives pull the ol’ “table scrap sneak” when my servant isn’t looking and I get nibbles of the most delectable things that I don’t smell in the kitchen other times of the year. But if it’s called “Thanksgiving,” what does massive overeating and watching football have to do with gratitude? And, why on earth – the morning after an astounding orgy of food, televised sporting events and togetherness – do humans (particularly the females) flock to those most mysterious havens of retail delight called “malls” before it’s even light outside?! My servant, who usually refers to the mall as “Mecca,” surprisingly refuses to go near it at this time because it’s “Black Friday.” I don’t get it. How is the day after a so-called holiday so ominously named?!
Christmas seems to be the hands-down biggie. I understand different religions and ethnicities have holidays that fall in this timeframe which have driven schools, companies and other entities to use generalities when attempting to celebrate such as “Season’s Greetings” or to simply not celebrate as not to offend. At any rate, what seemed to begin as a religious observation has morphed into many things to many humans with the common denominator being a tradition of giving gifts. Frolicking while humans open those gifts is a highlight for me given my penchant for cardboard. Wrapping paper is like dessert, although I’m still debating whether the gastrointestinal distress is worth the indulgence. That aside, I’m a bit bothered by the fact that humans place expectations on giving. Dogs are all about giving – even though we can’t shop. We offer unconditional love, unwavering loyalty, comfort, warmth and companionship…it’s spontaneous, from the heart and not tied to a date, time or event. We can’t put this stuff in a box, but I have to wonder…are the things humans buy at the mall better?
The annual grand finale called “New Year’s” just strikes me as funny. It’s simply stating the obvious: “Hello! The calendar is flipping and you need to use a different number when you date a check.” And what’s with these “resolutions” that rarely make it to February?! People transparently use New Year’s Eve as an excuse to dress up and make out at midnight. Being that humans also hang fungi in doorways during this season and demand kisses from those they trap underneath it further reinforces my opinion that they are sexually repressed as a species and really need to get over themselves, but I digress. It’s tempting to view “The Holidays” as forced and commercialized and dissect what they’ve become as compared to how the various traditions began. I do think it’s interesting to watch humans ping pong between joy and reflection, festivity and reverence during these things called holidays.
Maybe the holidays force humans to “schedule” fellowship, gratitude and merry-making because they would otherwise stay wrapped up in the demands of their lives and drift apart. Some of the holiday activities and expectations are certainly forced; but still – somehow – cheer happens. Peace on earth might be pushing it, but we can all use and give a little good will to men.
~Henry
(with the help of Kelly Guest’s opposable thumbs)
P.S. Add another holiday to the series – my birthday December 13. I’ll be three – or 21 in human years. Par-teeeeeeeeeee!
©2009 Kelly Guest
